Coaching Athletes with Self-Doubt

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Coaching a Kid Who Feels Awkward About Their Abilities

At this time in the season every coach has said or done something that has worn down or worn out the trust of a player. It happens. But sometimes it's a head scratcher why a player isn't responding.

Some kids don’t act out — they shut down. Self-doubt, anxiety, or past failures can make a player feel like they don’t belong. Kids are harder on themselves than the adults in the room. Coaches have a powerful opportunity to help these kids reframe what success looks like.

Practical Strategies:

✅ Emphasize effort over outcome: Praise the try, not just the goal. Focus on helping reset their mental game and moving ahead into the next play.

✅ Give specific tips during a game (keep your feet moving, stay at the top of your crease) vs. "Get your head in the game." *helps reset the mental game by focusing on a task not a character flaw

✅ Foster connection, not comparison: not every kid will respond to the same coaching style. If it isn't working put personal feelings aside. You don't have to like them all the time but you do have to coach them.

✅ Challenge negative self-talk and negativity by role modelling it. Mocking or berating kids in front of their team makes kids turtle.

✅ Remove the timetables. Expect bad games, inconsistent play, and changing attitudes. They are kids. If they aren't playing to your expectations, they might be on a different timetable.

Yep, it impacts the team. No one player makes or breaks a season. Stay away from the blame game. Celebrate what they do right as much as telling them what they need to improve.

Confidence isn’t built from complaints.

Small improvements might mean more than the big saves or plays right now. Then again - they might surprise you.

Patience, helping them reset, giving them explicit and positive feedback (think Safe Sport and Respect in Sport training) take time and repetition with kids who struggle with confidence.

Looking for 1:1 help? Write to puckofftobullying@gmail.com

#hockey #youthsports #Coaching #puckofftobullying #youthmentalhealth