The STICK Method: Five Practical Steps for Responding to Bullying in Minor Hockey
Bullying in minor hockey can leave everyone wondering what to do next.
A player may be afraid that reporting will make the situation worse. A teammate may recognize that something is wrong but not know how to intervene. Parents may feel torn between protecting their child and allowing them to develop confidence. Coaches and association leaders may receive conflicting accounts and feel pressure to act immediately.
The STICK Method provides a shared response.
It does not assume that one conversation, consequence or policy will eliminate bullying. Instead, it gives players and adults five practical actions that can be used to recognize harmful behaviour, respond more safely and continue supporting the people involved.
S — See It
The first step is to notice what is happening—including the behaviour, its impact and who holds power in the situation.
Not every disagreement between players is bullying. Conflict can occur between people with relatively equal power who are both able to participate, disagree and seek resolution. Bullying usually involves behaviour that causes harm and a power imbalance that makes it difficult for the targeted person to stop what is happening.
Power in hockey can come from more than physical size. It may involve:
Age, skill or position on the team
Popularity or social influence
Relationships with coaches or association leaders
Access to group chats and social networks
The number of people involved
A player’s fear of losing ice time, friendships or team belonging
Seeing it clearly means describing observable behaviour rather than labelling a person.
Instead of saying, “He is toxic,” try:
“He repeatedly mocks that player’s mistakes, encourages others to laugh and continues after being asked to stop.”
Clear descriptions help adults respond to what is happening without diagnosing, exaggerating or dismissing the concern.
T — Tell Someone
Players should not be expected to manage bullying alone.
Tell a safe adult or designated team contact what happened, where it occurred, who was involved and how it affected the player. Depending on the situation, that person might be:
A parent or caregiver
A coach or team manager
A Youth Liaison
A trusted association director
A teacher, counsellor or mental health professional
A safe-sport or independent complaint contact
Reporting is not tattling. Tattling is generally intended to get someone into trouble. Reporting is intended to get help, prevent further harm or restore safety.
A player might say:
“Something keeps happening, and I need help making it stop.”
Adults can help by listening before questioning, thanking the player for speaking up and avoiding promises they may not be able to keep. Rather than saying, “I won’t tell anyone,” say:
“I will respect your privacy. If someone may be unsafe, I may need to involve another adult, but I will explain what happens next.”
I — Interrupt Safely
Interrupting does not always mean directly confronting the person responsible.
A player, teammate or adult can interrupt harmful behaviour through a direct statement, a distraction or a supported exit. The safest response depends on the situation and the people involved.
Possible interventions include:
“That’s not okay.”
“We don’t talk to teammates like that.”
Changing the subject or redirecting the group
Inviting the targeted player to sit or leave with you
Getting an adult
Remaining nearby so the player is not isolated
Saving evidence of harmful online communication rather than engaging with it
No young person should be pressured to confront someone when doing so could increase the risk of retaliation or harm. Safety comes before bravery.
Adults also need to be careful not to turn a targeted player into the person responsible for resolving the entire situation. Restorative conversations, apologies or mediation may be helpful in some circumstances, but they should not be forced when there is a significant power imbalance or ongoing safety concern.
C — Connect
Bullying works through isolation. Connection helps restore safety and belonging.
After an incident, adults often focus on investigating what happened or determining consequences. Those steps may be necessary, but the person harmed also needs ongoing support.
Connection can look like:
Sitting with the player in the dressing room
Checking in before and after practices
Identifying safe teammates and adults
Ensuring the player is not excluded from team communication
Asking what would help them feel safer
Offering choices whenever possible
Supporting access to counselling or additional resources
Reinforcing that the behaviour does not define their worth or place on the team
Connection is also important for witnesses. Players who observe bullying may feel guilty, afraid or unsure about whether they should speak. They need safe opportunities to share what they noticed without being publicly identified or placed in the middle of the conflict.
The goal is not simply to make the incident disappear. It is to rebuild the player’s sense of safety, voice and belonging.
K — Keep Following Up
Safety is a process, not a single report.
One of the most discouraging experiences for a player is finding the courage to tell someone and then hearing nothing further. Even when adults are working behind the scenes, silence can make the player believe that nothing is being done.
Follow-up should include:
What concern was reported
Who received the report
What immediate safety measures were established
What actions were promised
When the next check-in will occur
Whether the behaviour has stopped, changed or moved online
Whether the player feels safer
What additional support may be needed
Privacy may prevent an association from sharing disciplinary details about another person. However, privacy should not prevent adults from explaining the process, confirming that the concern is being addressed or checking whether safety has improved.
A simple follow-up question can make an enormous difference:
“What has changed since we last talked, and what still needs attention?”
A Shared Response for the Whole Hockey Community
The STICK Method is not only for players who are experiencing bullying.
It gives the entire hockey community a common language:
Players can use it to seek help or support a teammate.
Parents can use it to organize concerns and request solutions.
Coaches can use it to respond consistently and reinforce team expectations.
Youth Liaisons can use it to listen, connect and follow up without becoming investigators or counsellors.
Associations can use it to strengthen reporting processes, accountability and player voice.
Bullying is shaped by relationships, group dynamics, power and team culture. That means the response cannot rest on one child becoming more resilient, one parent becoming more forceful or one coach giving a team speech.
A safer hockey environment is created through repeated actions: seeing what is happening, telling the right person, interrupting safely, maintaining connection and continuing to follow up.
When something does not feel right, use your STICK.
Explore the interactive Puck Off to Bullying Toolkit at:
For additional information, resources or support:
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