Protecting the Experience Beyond the Scoreboard

As parents of minor hockey players, we spend countless hours at the rink. We tie skates, brave early morning practices, and cheer from the stands with pride. We do it because we believe in the value of sport—the teamwork, the discipline, the life lessons. But every now and then, it’s worth pausing and asking a simple, powerful question:

Why are our kids really playing hockey?

The answer should be just as simple: for fun, for growth, and for connection.

But somewhere along the way, that purpose can get lost. Pressures mount—for performance, for wins, for scholarships or recognition. And when adult expectations start to overshadow the child's experience, it opens the door to something far more harmful: maltreatment.

Maltreatment in Minor Hockey: It’s Not Just Physical

Maltreatment isn't always a scream from the bench or an aggressive shove in the locker room. It can be the subtle exclusion of a player who isn’t “top tier,” the emotional pressure to play through injuries, or the belittling that comes masked as “motivation.”

As a teacher, I’ve spent years working with anti-bullying initiatives. The strategies are clear: walk away, speak up, talk to someone you trust. Policies, steps, and accountability systems to target bullying exist, so why, when we look at organized sports like hockey, do the same issues still exist?

Because in sports, we add another layer: the pursuit of winning. And in that pursuit, the lines between motivation and mistreatment get blurred.

The Role of Adults: Protecting the Experience, Not Just the Scoreboard

As adults—parents, coaches, and volunteers—we hold incredible power. Our words, our expectations, and our reactions shape the environment more than we often realize.

Here’s how we can help shift the culture:

1. Model Emotional Regulation: Our kids mirror us. If we yell at refs, criticize coaches, or dissect mistakes in the car ride home, we’re telling them that outcomes matter more than effort or experience.

   
   

2. Create Safe Spaces: Just like in schools, kids need to know where they can turn when something doesn’t feel right. Teams should have clearly communicated codes of conduct, open-door policies, and trusted adults beyond just the coach.

   
   

3. Celebrate More Than Goals: When we praise perseverance, sportsmanship, and kindness as much as we praise scoring or saves, we redefine success.

   
   

Policy and Governance: Beyond Words on Paper

Hockey Canada and local associations have made strides in identifying and defining maltreatment. But policies only work when they are lived out—not just posted on a wall or buried in a handbook.

Enforcement needs to be consistent. Education needs to be ongoing—not just for coaches, but for parents and even players. And most importantly, there needs to be a cultural commitment to transparency and accountability, even when it’s uncomfortable.

So What’s the Goal?

The goal isn’t just to raise hockey players. It’s to raise resilient, confident, compassionate young people.

When kids feel safe, supported, and valued for who they are—not just how they perform—they thrive. That’s when the game becomes more than a sport. It becomes a space where character is built, friendships are formed, and lifelong memories are made.

Let’s protect that. Let’s prioritize that. Because at the end of the day, that’s the real win.